Tuesday, March 30, 2010

So I can't sleep, DH has a flight tomorrow so I need to be getting some sleep but I'm not. I was expecting something to happen today/tomorrow Wednesday but it didn't so Now i wont be able to go to class or well.. do anything. Andy does have to work Thursday after all so I wont even have that fun but He's off friday and maybe with all this driving about (yes in our car.. ) he will decide not to have his plastic feast like usual.. doubt it though. I wanted to get with the Gs and maybe check out that new karokee game they got this weekend but its a no go I suppose. I feel bad about never having them over but with two kids and another on the way it just seems odd to have them over.. Like our apartment is to small to entertain you know? I donno .. i just can't wait till we move I'm getting to excited I know but I'm sick of this house I want something new and im restless to have it and move on.
I know god is keeping us here for a reason and I even can see where that reason may be.. I need to get a handle on our finances better If I would stop eating out so much I really think we would be doing so much better financially, not to mention I would loose weight easier. Its like its my addiction. I keep saying im going to quit smoking but then when the pack runs out i buy another. Its so hard. This month was worse than any other though. I hate cleaning but I hate living in a dirty house so I bust my but cleaning it up real nice when andy is gone and then he comes home and it just gets trashe.. I know a clean house doesnt stay clean but I dont even get one day! and im not talking a bit of cluter i mean trashed.. so I just dont want to be here. The kitchen is the worst I think. I hate moping its probubly my least faviort, once im doing it fine but getting all the stuff together
moping means I need to empty the sink which usually means I need to empty the dishwasher so I do that then load the dishwasher then clean off the counters, wash some dish towles or find washed dishtowles lay them out do hand dishes put htem to dry, scrub out sink and NOW i can mop the floor..

I think I have given up the wrong way... I gave up just with the whole okay andy said he would do dishes and put away laundrey those are some of his chorse and i just kinda gave up that he is going to do them and live iwth a dirty sink and laundrey shuffled around the house all the time.

how do I get him to do what he says he will do? I dont I dont think? I think I need to make peace with doing it all myself and just find a schegil that works for me. I have already found that I can unload the dishwasher and reaload it while kit is eating breakfast (partiuclarly if i make cinmion toast he loves that most) Then I just load dishes in teh washer all day and dont have much fuss.

Tomorrow I guess I'll wash the pizza pans they have been in the sink since last friday .. There is this new book called 101 ways to torture your husband I feel like gettin git sometimes I dont want to do his dishes I'm mad that Those dishes are sitting there and he iggnores them like oh well yeah i did the dishes.. well accpt those you do those.. does he expect me to do them? does he think they just go away if he leaves them there for a week? maybe I should pu thtem in his closet and go out and buy new cookie sheets as for the laundrey I dont want to put it all away the whole reason he is the one putting laundrey away is because he is the one that takes a shirt out looks at it puts it on the back of the sofa and then goes and gets another.. he is the one who changes his clohtse five times a day and then ends up walking around in his underwhere.. its rediculious
I should ask him to take all his laundrey to a laundrey matt and do it.. I would ask him to do all the laundrey but he drops things and doesnt relize it
was I ever like that? how can a person be so uncaringly oblivious to life?

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